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Loose lips sink ships

Jul. 31st, 2009

10:34 am

For once I wish it could be my turn.

Apr. 5th, 2009

07:09 pm

Thank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank youThank you Thank you.



Cassie and Mallorie. You guys gave me some fun times this weekend.

Mar. 26th, 2009

06:38 pm

life is wonderful right now.



TGUK tattoo here I come.



Concerts I'm seeing

Falloutboy

Flight of the Conchords

Bamboozle: Falloutboy,Third Eye Blind, New Found Glory, THE GET UP "FUCKING" KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,Bayside,Cartel,Forever The Sickest Kids, Lydia,Horrorpops, No Doubt, Taking Back Sunday, and The Used.

oh man.....the next two months are going to be kick ass.

plus, I feel closer and closer to moving back to NYC.

<3 it all.

Mar. 20th, 2009

12:56 pm

"Why does California treat its women so poorly?


and for the women out there, I'd like them to have some sort of indication of the fact that they're older then 14, a brief hint of pubis would be nice...not a 70's thunder bush, but just a reminder that I'm performing cunnilingus on an actual adult female."



totally had to write that from an apple store. If you know the reference, then I love you.

Mar. 10th, 2009

02:41 am

I forgot how fun New York City could be. I've been going to the city more often and I really miss it. I guess I just had way too many bad memories there that I needed time apart from so that I could learn to get over them.


well, its safe to say that there are less and less bad memories every time I go there.

Feb. 28th, 2009

02:15 pm

Spring cleaning my life is freaking awesome. I really feel like I'm getting a fresh start on a lot of things, and its really good. Its one thing to forget about or run away from the past(sorry, you can't do that, as Simba taught us in the Lion King) its another thing to embrace who you were and make an honest attempt to change that.


and I'm making that honest attempt every single day, and it feels wonderful.

Feb. 26th, 2009

11:57 pm

Sex and the city. That's all I have to say.

Feb. 17th, 2009

10:02 pm

Straylight Run "For The Best,"

"And it takes more time than I've ever had,
Drains the life from me, makes me want to forget.
As young as I was, I felt older back then,
More disciplined, stronger and certain.
But I was scared to death of eternity,
I was saved by grace and destroyed by naivety.
And I lied to myself and said it was for the best.

And now faith is replaced with a logic so cold,
I've disregarded what I was now that I'm older.
And I know much more than I did back then,
But the more I learn the more I can't understand.
And I've become content with this life that I lead
Where I drink too much and don't believe in much of anything
And I lie to myself, and say it's for the best

We're moving forward but holding ourselves back, and we're waiting on something that'll never come...
We're moving forward but holding ourselves back, and we're waiting on something that'll never come

We're moving forward but holding ourselves back,
and we're waiting on something that'll never come (and I lie to myself)

We're moving forward but holding ourselves back,
and we're waiting on something that'll never come(and say it's for the best)

We're moving forward but holding ourselves back,
and we're waiting on something that'll never come (and I lie to myself)

We're moving forward but holding ourselves back,
and we're waiting on something that'll never come (and say it's for the best)"

Feb. 8th, 2009

11:36 pm

It feels good to be, um back? I guess the right word would be.



I feel like I've washed off a large crust of beer,women,parties,slacking off, disappointment's,fights,long nights,nights I can't remember,drama,step backs, and overall eight months of just a lot of poor decisions.




I don't know where to begin.


Or even if I should recount any of it.


ok, I admit it I really fucked up.


We learn and grow right? Ever since I graduated college and moved up to Albany I feel like I've been living in one perpetual kegger after another, is this what college is supposed to be like? I remember being at F.I.T. and actually doing work. Of course I slacked off, and waiting until the last minute for deadlines yatta yatta yatta, but I got my work done. As I grew up I got better and better at it, and it started to show.

I got an album designed and in stores by my junior year of college.

I had a high paying job in the same year.

I met a girl I pretty much fell head over heels for even if she had some pretty big issues.

I was living in NYC and starting to slowly figure out who I was.


Then the shit hit the fan. It all started when Sarah never came back up with me from Florida. I'm not blaming her, but I was never the same after that. After spending a whole semester with just her and only her, that apartment started to feel like ours. We were making a life with each other, slowly growing more and more used to having the other in our daily routines. When she moved out, and stayed in Fl, that apartment never looked the same. Instead of being my home, it was just one big giant glaring reminder that I didn't have her anymore. SO I needed to get the hell out of dodge. I moved out as soon as school was over and never looked back. I even to this day find it very hard to go there, sleep over or be around because it still reminds me of her.

From there I moved to Albany, and went from living with one other person to 6. Now being an only child, I wasn't used to that many people all at once. I took up shitty jobs, I started to try to get a company off the ground and I well, partied a lot. Sarah and I fought more and more, I grew more and more distant and more and more of a...umm guy I guess,lol. Its weird because I've always been super nice, and a very I guess decent guy. I slowly started making really stupid stupid choices and things I would have never done.

In the aftermath of that, my company is no where near where it could be, Sarah and I broke up, I lived on a couch for 8 months. All my friends either lost total respect for me, or talked about it behind my back. I totally did not like the man I had become.

I don't know why, but thankfully I snapped out of it. It was like a lot of different things were all working at the same time, by none of it lined up. I would make a change here or there but then make five more dumb choices, then one day about a month ago everything just kind of lined up and CLICK...I snapped out of it.

I saw what I needed to do, I saw what was required of me to get it and I've since then been making the slow recovery to get back to at least the man I was when I graduated.


I've spent so much time having a job, working really hard, not partying, etc. that I felt like I needed to do it. That I didn't have a "real," college life because I never lived on campus or got wasted every night, and when given the chance I took it.


but I see now that that's not what I want at all. I hate it so much that my bedroom was the living room, and my bed was the couch. I want my own place, with my own stuff, in a city I love. Now, I don't know what that city is, and I honestly don't care.


Because I realized that where I live, what I do, doesn't mean a fucking thing if I can't share it with the one person I love more then anything else in the world; Sarah.


After everything I realized that this girl, really is the girl of my dreams. She really has been there for me since the day we started dating. Shes been nothing but the best friend I could ever have and I see how much a part of my life that girl really is. And its not like I'm saying I can't live without her...because I can. I could get over it eventually, I'd meet some other girl, fall in love and be fine.

But I don't want that.

I want her to be that girl.

I'm ready to grow up. I'm ready to start having a life, ready to make draw my career, and in the meantime get an actual job in the field I went to college for.


FUCK ZUMIEZ. and every other shit job I forced myself to have because I thought I needed to "make ends meet," because that's bullshit. You don't need a crappy job to live, if you work hard enough and bust your ass, you can get that job you always wanted. You can get what you want without ever compromising yourself...and I used to believe that through and through.

and I lost it.


As I start to get that fire back, and get back who I am, I'm seeing more and more the man I want to become, need to become and will become.


I love my friends and I hope that they can grow and come to the same realizations I have, and that I can grow up knowing and being successful with them, instead of alone.

but most of all, I'm ready to be with Sarah again.



I miss her. and I miss the person I was when I was with her.


I love you Sarah Briley Roberts.

Jan. 19th, 2009

03:03 pm

I haven't really posted in this for a bit, but I'm going to make an attempt to pick that up.


A lot has happened in such a small time, and I don't really want to go into all of it, and if you're close enough to me you already know a lot.


I guess there's just been a series of moments that makes me really take a step back and take a long hard look at well, me. People always want the truth, or at least they always ask for it. I can't count the number of times I've heard in my life "I just want you to be honest with me," but do we really want that? Do we really want the people closest to us to be 100% honest with us? to tell us the truth and nothing but the truth...

Whether I wanted it or not, over the last few weeks, I've gotten that truth. Its really started to make me see the bigger picture of one of two things.

Who I am.

or who everyone thinks I am.

I'm leaning more to the middle and that its more of a hybrid of the two.



I've had this stupid thing open for like 3 hours now...trying to think about what i want to write...and it just doesn't matter. I get it; people don't really view me as the worlds best person/friend/worker/employee/boyfriend etc.


whatever. I'm fully aware of my faults, what everyone thinks of me/them......I'm not going to sit here and talk about it..or at all.

people can think whatever they want, I know what I'm capable of and what I can do/achieve, so I'm going to stop talking about it and start doing it.

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